Tip April 2004

GETTING AHEAD QUICKLY

April 01, 2004

 Are you one of those martial artists (MA's) that is over looked? Need to get ahead of your peers quickly? No time to train hard? Adverse to getting hit or even perspiring? Too young? No problem! Learn the secrets of success that I have observed from others! Please read on.....

Skills
This a very grey area. I mean, one person's adequate could be another's superb, right? It might be more important to learn the posing skills and Grand Master facial expressions. Practice daily; preferably in front of a mirror. Who cares if you can't kick above your waist or execute a decent strike? Explain it that your style has too many secret deadly moves.

Organizations
Firstly start your own, eg. NayMooKwan. Register it in Korea under the ROS or city municipal ordinance or whatever. Now you can declare yourself as a 9^th or 10^th Dan! Better yet, for a modest sum, there are many organizations willing to give you membership and even issue “GM of the year” title. Try to join a legitimate organizations even at a basic Dan; you can then say that you are a member of the KukKiWon or KHF or KiDoHae, etc.

Certificates
Too much of a hassle. Order some off the Internet. Some souvenir stores in Korea have great looking TKD ones; e-bay has some as well. Then again, with some basic Korean translation, print your own! While you are at it, print some that look exactly like premier world recognized bodies, eg. KHF, KTA, etc. One hears that some printers in Florida have great experience in this.

Attitude
Be aloof, but sound Grand Masterly. When questioned, always avoid a direct reply. If you can't avoid, attack (verbally, or via the internet, as you will probably get clobbered by a real MA). Always belittle others, sowing confusion.

Money
Never enough. Collect lots of it, always in US$ (hail the mightly green back!)

Photos
Very, very important. Always take photos with important people so that it will rub off on you, and you can always make different claims over different photos. If you can't afford to go to Korea or some respectable seminar, find some oriental looking guy in Chinatown or Korea town USA.